“Your parents are going to die one day, kids, and so are you! Now who wants cake?!”

Yyyyeeaaah me neither

I bet that the particular universe where Phil dies just collapses on itself, killing everyone in the process. Thankfully so far there’s always been at least one universe with a Phil that doexn’t die

Can I book you for parties? You’d be a great hit

Yup. That’s because most “moderate” conservatives fundamentally agree with far right positions, or at least don’t disagree with them even though they might not be enthusiastic supporters