I feel you. Add her then acting like it was her idea to get you to do the thing and you have my late grandmother.
Don’t let her get to you (easier said than done, I know) but she is also fairly easy to manipulate if you don’t let her get under your skin.
You probably already know how she reacts to things, start small and see if you can get certain reactions out of her. You do A, she reacts with B (good or bad), you do C, she preens like she won something.
I managed to trick my grandma into giving up her car keys after her first minor fender bender in her 80s (in fairness she was a good driver, her vision was just going bad) - she ended up believing giving up the car was her idea and that she deserved to get driven around from now on. She loved her independence but also loved having people at her beck and call. She got to feel smart and superior by stopping driving and we didn’t have to worry about anyone getting hurt. Everyone was so relieved, she got a lot of praise for that decision which helped too.
Don’t let her ruin your health, try to reframe your reactions to her and never, ever let on that’s what you are doing. Don’t tell the cousin that will rat you out to try to appease her. ‘She seems to do what I want? I don’t see it that way. She’s just making good decisions like she always does… what are you talking about?’ Feel free to tell the one you can trust.
I feel you. Add her then acting like it was her idea to get you to do the thing and you have my late grandmother.
Don’t let her get to you (easier said than done, I know) but she is also fairly easy to manipulate if you don’t let her get under your skin.
You probably already know how she reacts to things, start small and see if you can get certain reactions out of her. You do A, she reacts with B (good or bad), you do C, she preens like she won something.
I managed to trick my grandma into giving up her car keys after her first minor fender bender in her 80s (in fairness she was a good driver, her vision was just going bad) - she ended up believing giving up the car was her idea and that she deserved to get driven around from now on. She loved her independence but also loved having people at her beck and call. She got to feel smart and superior by stopping driving and we didn’t have to worry about anyone getting hurt. Everyone was so relieved, she got a lot of praise for that decision which helped too.
Don’t let her ruin your health, try to reframe your reactions to her and never, ever let on that’s what you are doing. Don’t tell the cousin that will rat you out to try to appease her. ‘She seems to do what I want? I don’t see it that way. She’s just making good decisions like she always does… what are you talking about?’ Feel free to tell the one you can trust.