Look, folks, let me tell you something. You know, I’ve been saying this for a long time—long before anyone else. Russia, great people, great leaders, they’ve been fantastic. And Ukraine, you know, they were just not listening to the right advice, right? They should’ve just… given up like I said! But now we’re in a little… situation here, and let me be clear, folks, I know situations.

Now, I see this whole thing with Poland, and it’s a bit of a mess. Poland—great country, by the way, I love Poland—so much history, such incredible pierogi, folks. But now they’re, uh, allegedly showing signs of aggression? Big mistake, Poland. You never mess with Russia when you’ve got people like me out there… you know, knowing how to do deals.

So listen, here’s what I think: Russia’s been very strong, okay? Tremendous, really. They’ve won, they’ve taken everything they wanted, and now they’re saying Poland’s a little… too aggressive. They don’t need this right now. And I agree with Russia! The Polish need to calm down, take a step back.

You know, they’ve been trying to act tough like they’re some kind of… superpower—but, let’s be honest, it’s not happening. No one talks about Poland like we do. Sad!

So, if I were in charge, we’d be doing so much better. I’d tell Poland to relax, take a breath, maybe work on some very strong business deals with Russia. It’s all about the deals, folks, it’s all about the deals. And if they don’t? Well, then, uh… I’m sure Russia would handle it, believe me.

And let me say this: Putin—great guy, fantastic, we’ve had a lot of talks, you wouldn’t believe it, so much great stuff—we don’t need to mess with him. Poland? They’re not tough enough to deal with this. Just, everybody calm down, okay? Don’t make a huge mistake, Poland. Trust me, I know mistakes when I see ‘em.

Big applause.

I don’t blame you, because what the fuck lol: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_N._Haldeman

In like the 1940s Elon Musk’s grandfather was a chiropractor in Regina, Saskatchewan and was arrested by the RCMP for being a central figure in an organization that was trying to overthrow the government and install a technocracy. I’m not kidding.

After that is when he fucked off to South Africa to partake in the Apartheid.

Realistically, we are so fucked. One single bomb on a highway or railway can completely decimate any one of our province’s ability to move people or goods and perform services. Our border is too long and wild to be defendable. And they could probably take out our entire military logistics in a single night of bombings. All of this isn’t even to mention that if they wanted to go all out insane they could make nuclear threats if the Canadian government doesn’t capitulate. I’m not saying we couldn’t resist once occupied, it’s just fucking hideous to think about.

I will never forgive Microsoft for just straight up deleting everyone’s (mine) MineCraft purchases and accounts, and then having the gall to tell us to buy it again. It’s still in my Microsoft Store purchase history, for Christ’s sake.

I’d sooner buy Skyrim 4 more times than buy back what was stolen from me.