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Cake day: January 3rd, 2024

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  • You’re right. But if someone I care about is choosing between suicide and explode their relationships, I hope they choose explode their relationships. I’ll be there when they figure out whatever is next. (I know because I have been for someone who did. I’m not delighted with how they handled things, but I’m glad I still have them.)





  • As a hiring manager who receives these kinds of introductions, here’s my thoughts (largely confirming what you’ve already read here.):

    • These introductions are great. Keep it up.
    • Bob is probably more sensitive about it than Bob’s boss. To Bob, this was uncomfortable. To Bob’s boss, it was just a normal Monday.
    • It’s a good idea to buy Bob lunch or dinner to say thanks, and get a tip or two on refining your approach.

    But don’t take any of it too seriously. As hiring manager, I see this a lot, and I enjoy it.

    It feels great that people want my time.

    And I’ve been the job searcher myself plenty of times.

    You did a good thing. You can probably refine your technique, but don’t sweat it.

    Unless someone is vocally racist during the intro, making any connection at all is a better impression than not doing so.


  • I let them know and will hunt down the hiring manager once my friend applies.

    As a hiring manager who has experienced this kind of introduction or “name drop”, I want to add my perspective:

    It’s great. Keep it up.

    I got introduced to one of my best team leads that way. (To be very clear, I didn’t know the colleague making the introduction. We worked together but had never quite crossed paths. I still buy them a thank-you lunch occasionally as a thank you for their bravery, and selfishly in case they or another peer of theirs is job searching.)

    Disclaimer: As a manager, it’s my job to apply fair hiring practices, and I’m committed to that. I don’t have many great answers, but I know today’s computerized HR filters aren’t fair to anyone, anyway. We need to do better, and personal references are probably the best tool for candidates, right now.