This is my life story. Every day, I understand more and get closer to “old man lives alone with his dog in the woods”

Oooh this may be it. I’ve been told before that I do this. (the first paragraph)

If Bob feels wronged somehow take him out for a drink or dinner or so

I don’t think Bob is ever gonna return my calls, heh.

Was Bob upset because he didn’t know that was your intent

I don’t think so. I’m pretty up front about my goals. I messaged Bob and said that I am looking for a job and I want to ask Alice questions. Literally. “Could you introduce me or send my contact info over? I’d like to get an inside perspective about the work environment and ask more about the job.”

I then asked questions like “can you introduce me to the hiring manager or send my contact info their way? Additionally, what’s the work culture like? Are bosses on your case all the time or are they asking how they can help? Do people like working there or does everyone complain? What’s the work hours like?”

I would have probably thanked Bob and dropped him from the email before asking Alice questions.

I usually do this. I even said that directly. “I don’t wanna clog up Bob’s inbox, so can we talk directly?” Alice didn’t accept direct communication, though, and replied via CC, so I went with it. Oh well.